Tim Clinton defines suicide as the “tragic and lethal culmination of a psychological process that results from unresolved events that create depression and hopelessness.” Suicide occurs once one has come to the ‘end of their rope,’ ‘lost all hope,’ and “cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel!’ The thought of suicide occurs from the depths of despair, and is an effort to relieve themselves of pain. I’ve looked in the face of suicide for many years, as a clinician.
Upon beginning my career as a mental health counselor. I provided counseling for children, adolescents, and adults that were experiencing a psychiatric crisis. These crises many times included thoughts of death and dying, urges to harm themselves, or have deep feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. My role was to assess their level of risk and determine their need for intensive levels of treatment and care. The pain for many was indescribable, and had become to difficult to continue to bear. Gary P. Stewart writes “the problem is not that such despairing people want to die; it is that they do not know how to live.”
Why is Discussing Suicide Important?
The reason one may commit suicide can never truly be explained, because the loved one is not here to provide that valuable and needed insight and/or understanding. Even if they left a note or message it still never truly absolves one of the distress of the loss. Yet, some rationales can include unfilled hopes or desire and unexpected and significant life changes that include:
What Risk, Signs, and Symptoms Should I Look For?
How to Help?
If you are the one feeling the great sense of hopelessness and despair do not allow the barriers of stigma, shame, and disappointment get in the way of seeking support and professional help!
As a clinician it is my desire is to help you learn how to handle unfulfilled hopes, desires, expectation, and disappointments in life. It is important to understand that “hope deferred make the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” according to Proverbs 13:12 ESV. It may be important to grieve the expected timeline for certain. This is not the actual hope, desire, or dream but the time we had the expectation. Lastly, it is important to extend to yourself self-love, compassion, and forgive yourself of regrets. You are WORTHY!
Crystal S. Zanders is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who works in private practice in Suburban Chicago. Crystal obtained her Bachelor of Arts in Communication from the University of Illinois at Chicago and Master of Arts in Counseling from Concordia University-Chicago in River Forest, IL. Crystal has over 8 years of experience providing counseling, advising, and coaching to individuals seeking to restore their lives. Crystal is actively involve in ministry. Crystal serves on the leadership team alongside her husband at Prayer City Church in Wheaton, IL. Additionally, Crystal is the co-founder of The Oasis Ministry, a women's ministry designed to encourage women in their growth in faith, purpose, and wholeness! Crystal’s favorite pastimes include: reading, writing, crocheting/knitting skills, and going to the movies. Her heart’s desire is to see individuals gain insight into their God-given identity and live a life of wholeness and purpose! Crystal loves to bring clarity and understanding through the truth of God’s Word and enjoys utilizing writing as a teaching modality.